Semester Two, Week Sixteen (Aka: The End)

I have completed my first year.

What inspiring words can I write? (None)

I've enjoyed the last nine months. It has been a tremendous amount of work, and required a lot of me, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I truly have given nursing school 100%, and am continually committed to graduating, and being a nurse who knows her stuff, and has compassion, integrity, strength, skill, and knowledge.

In the two days that I have officially been on summer break, I have come to realize how much better I feel without the pressure to study 24/7.

I've made some lasting friendships, have been offered a full-time position on a med-surg floor, I'm taking two summer courses, including one to officially begin my BSN.

I'm a better person now. I think more clearly, feel confident, feel smart, and the small stuff just doesn't phase me anymore. I'm half-way to becoming a nurse, and anticipate that the best is yet to come.

Monday, after my final, I joined my friend who is part of a medical group for pre-med and medical students. She graciously taught me how to suture (it's not as easy as it looks) and then these two Italian doctor's here on their residency asked if they could join us. They then proceeded to practice their anterior approach spinal surgery technique. I felt, in that moment, like this is it. I'm going to make it. I love the medical field, and the opportunities to learn that have been presented to me are innumerable and unforgettable.

I occasionally get glimpses into my future, and this is it; this is what I want. My relationship with Jesus will always come first, but He has made it know that this is where He wants me, and I am so content to be in the center of His will.

It is a beautiful thing.

Semester Two, Week Fifteen

I found myself in a new form of hell this week.

At clinicals, the nurse I was following gave me an electronic fetal monitor strip and told me I'd be responsible for charting for this patient.

Now, you may think; eh, that doesn't sound so bad. But it was. It is. EFM is laborious, tedious, and mind numbing. Plus, I'm not going to be a labor and delivery nurse so why on the planet was I assigned to this task?!

An example: (from google, not from my clinical site, in case you were wondering)

Looks like a lot of squiggly lines, right? Well, for one, I can tell you that this baby is in fetal distress due to the variable decelerations, and the momma is having pretty frequent contractions. Thankfully, I also see some accelerations, but we've got to get this baby out, and soon.

My butt was kicked this week. It was truly a horrible week to be alive, and each day brought on a new, dreaded problem. Family issues on top of school issues, on top of psychotic roommate issues makes for one exhausted nursing student.

I had to take Monday off to be a witness in court, and that was a cluster you-know-what. Emotionally drained from that, I returned on Tuesday, took an exam in the afternoon (yuck), and tried to keep my chin up while simultaneously blinking back tears all dang day. Wednesday was EFM hell, a fetal demise (horrible), and I was scolded by my nurse because I was observing too much, and not helping enough. I'm sorry; I thought that holding a laboring mother while an epidural was placed, then placing a Foley, removing a Foley, obtaining vitals and holding mom's legs back while she was in active labor was participating.

Thursday was exhausting with finishing up clinicals and just when I thought I could power through the rest of the day, I attended my weekly Bible study only to realize it was a huge mistake and literally ran out the door to avoid exploding. <--- That didn't go over well.

I have assignments to complete today and my final pediatric clinical tomorrow.

I'm exhausted.

Semester Two, Week Fourteen

OB clinicals transpired this week. I was fortunate to witness a c-section and vaginal birth. While some folks determine after this experience that they never want to have children, I truly was stunned at the endurance of the human body, the struggle it is to come in to this world, and the fact that any of us make it here alive.

I also was able to cut the umbilical cord, and it was a fantastic moment, as I tend to live in the future, wondering if my cut has anything to do with if they'll be an "innie" or an "outie" (I don't think so, but hey), and if I'll ever see this child again at the some point in the future.

Day one was fantastic; I was paired with a knowledgeable nurse who took the time to explain the science behind labor and delivery. We poured over fetal heart strips, and I left feeling like I am one kick-butt nursing student. Day two, not so much. My assigned nurse wasn't interested in me, wouldn't let me do a thing, not even take vitals on mom, and so I left that unit discouraged. I did however witness a circumcision, and once more left with the thought that it really wasn't that bad. Maybe the baby was just exceptionally brave/non-reactive to pain.

Do I have baby fever? No. I'm just here for the ride, enjoying the last few weeks of nursing school, shocked and stunned that I am coasting into my final week and two days before I have conquered year one. There's much to do in the meantime, and with some perseverance, I'll make it through this next (crazy) week with few bumps.