Semester One, Week Sixteen (Aka: Sweet Relief)

When I finally decide to make this blog public, people are going to see how crazy I really am. This blog feels more like a diary than a public format kind of entry.

I've learned some things this semester:

1. I'm the luckiest girl in the whole world and I often don't even act like I am. I fail to see, every hour of every day how graciously the Lord has blessed me. True, I may not have everything I want, but I am where God wants me to be. The future is cloudy, but beside me is God. And that is all I need. He provides.
2. I have an amazing support system. 
3. I do okay being by myself. Transitionally, it was difficult, but I learned to make the best of my time.
4. I will always feel like the idiot in a room full of geniuses. I will likely never think of myself as a "smart" person, like I'm tricking the whole system, but that's okay. I'd rather doubt my intelligence than be cocky, thinking "I got this."
5. I'm not as dumb as I thought I was. :)
6. God is good, all the time. Even when I can't see/feel/hear Him. 
7. I don't need friends to survive, but it sure is nice to have someone around.
8. I love nursing school even more than I initially anticipated that I would.

I finished my first semester of nursing school with straight A's. The A's making all my manic hours worth it.

Some of my classmates reached the "I don't care what grade I get, so long as it's above 77%" mindset.

I dare not settle into that frame of mind.

As was the initial goal of mine when I began this journey, I don't want you to get me as your nurse and have to settle for the RN who stopped caring, and merely wanted a C in school. I want to be your nurse who pushed herself, for you, my patient, giving the absolute best care. I want be the nurse who gave nursing school 100%, not for a 4.0 GPA, but because your life and your health matters to me.

And above all, it gives glory to God to see how He can take a mediocre student who believed that nursing was God's calling in her life, stepped out in faith, and against all odds, triumphed.

I don't know if I'm going to pass, if I'm going to graduate, pass NCLEX and become an RN. I constantly feel like I'm going to fail, but I think that's what keeps me relying on God, and what keeps me going. I'll be darned if I don't give nursing school 100%

A few months ago, I attended a church, and the woman I sat next to asked me to share a bit of my story. I relayed the nursing school story, and she flipped open her Bible, sharing this verse:

"...He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ."
Philippians 1:6



See you in January.

Onward!