Semester Four, Week Seven

I've had a really great week. Maybe that's because I had one test (that I rocked!) and two mandatory non-graded exams to track my progress (still looks like I'm on track to pass NCLEX, woot!) Apart from that, I've had a lot of down time, which I think I've needed, as I've been so focused on being busy and going from class to clinicals to work, I haven't had any time to be calm in the last six weeks or so.

Fact: I'm not always entirely comfortable being by myself, and I've had some moments like that this week as I reflected back on my life and some of the people I've wasted time on. Yeah, you know those moments. ;)

But, as I've come to terms with the realization that graduation is coming, I've contacted a professional resume writer (do they have an official title?) and am preparing to meet with them in the next few weeks to put on paper who I am. I've been scouring the internet for new grad nurse residency programs and feel amazed, emotional, and overwhelmed that this, the dream, is culminating and I'm preparing to head into the real world of nursing soon.

It's easy to get caught up in the panic of "what will I do after May 6th?!?" but, I have to rest in the fact that God will show me as I go. No sense in rushing ahead of things.

Studying for the final is cumbersome. People keep stating how awful it will be, but you know what? People all along this journey have said that every class, every semester, every exam is awful and impossible. Someone dropped yesterday that the final has a lot of questions regarding the cardiac system, and briefly, my heart dropped and all panic ensued because I don't feel like cardiology is my strong suit, and what if, what if, what if.

Enough!

I visited a women's shelter on Tuesday with a friend to teach the women about stress and other health literacy topics. My last clinical instructor was wild about health literacy, and now I understand why; people generally don't have much, if any. We discussed stress and then opened the forum to any questions, and oh, I was in a nursing student wonderland. I knew answers to the questions asked!

However, one of the attendee noted that while I was knowledgeable, I am so young and an "old soul". Old soul? I'm not that young anymore, sadly. But, quite peculiar that she noted I am an old soul. I've always been conscious of that fact, but never thought it translated into my interactions with strangers, particularly when discussing medicine.

So, there's the med-surg final next week. And then the start of my transitional course. Gone are the days of new medical knowledge and being bombarded with information. I'll miss it, I've decided. I have enjoyed, so much, transforming into someone new.

And, on a side note, being that I will continue on with my BSN after graduation, I had written a really marvelous scholarship essay that my computer randomly deleted. But never fear, after searching for it the world over, and even having Microsoft remote in with absolutely no luck, I re-wrote the essay, brand new, from scratch, and feel that it's a better representation of me, anyway. And is it true that Earnest Hemingway once lost a suitcase containing his best work, and had to start from scratch? I can't tell if that's fact or fiction, but it's a nice touch.

Blessed.