When I first began nursing school, and what sustained me all throughout were, on those early waking mornings, preparing for clinicals, I'd remind myself that this is not about me. This is about my future patients, this is about the process of becoming an RN. Now that this phase of my life is nearly over with, and I face the reality that I am days away from graduating, and hopefully only months away from taking my boards, the accumulation of my forever dream of becoming a nurse is nearly here.
I've learned to balance multiple patients with a variety of health problems, piece together the pathophysiolgy of a disease process, but more importantly, I've learned how to communicate with patients. I think it's too easy to forget that our patients are more than people in a bed, more than people with a medical diagnosis. They're people with real health conditions and needs, oftentimes laid up in bed, at our mercy. They're people with pain, and if they rate it as a 9 out of 10, and even if you really don't believe it, tough. Act like you do, and give them their prescribed pain medication, while keeping your eye rolling and mean thoughts tucked deep inside. People deserve to see compassion, passion, and kindness, especially at the bedside.
I read a quote the other day that impacted me, simple as it was: "You'll never regret being kind."
This is so true, and important to practice in the nursing profession. Now, I know I am but a newbie to the scene, and I have a lot to learn, and I'll probably be duped once or twice, but I'll be darned if I will not be nice to my patients and co-workers, even on the days when it is trying.
Friday, I wasn't feeling so nice, initially. I was not particularly in the mood for patient care, nor was I plum pleased when my preceptor handed over to me three patients, two of whom would require a lot of care. I was worried that I would make a medication error and kill someone, thus being deemed unsafe to practice and fail nursing school. My preceptor and I were in the intermediate care unit, which is a step down from the ICU, and that meant that their admission diagnoses weren't exactly easy. I felt cranky, especially with an isolation patient in whom I had received in report was difficult, rude, drug seeking; you know all the characteristic qualities.
I walked into their room expecting to be shot down, but what I got, and what I saw was an ill patient just needing some love. Needing some empathy. I have never received so many thank you's from a patient throughout the course of my day, and when he, in a moment of feeling utterly hopeless, laid his head off his bed, bemoaning the fact that people judge him, and that really, he just feels awful, I knelt down, and stroked his head. Yes, that may sound weird, but this was someone who needed a human touch. He needed to know that I was in their corner, and that I was not passing judgement. I was his ally, and would advocate for him. It was one of those moments that reminded me, again, that this path in nursing, this career, is not about me; it is for the care of those sick, and in need.
The 750+ hours that I have spent in the clinical setting will always be remembered as my moments of refinement. I went from fumbling through head to toe exams, to developing confidence and proficiency. I went from wanting to know about diseases and how they manifest, to learning how to care for the patient, and having the knowledge to act as backup to my bedside care. In all, this has been the most incredible journey that I have found myself on, and I know that Friday's pinning ceremony is but a transition, stepping out from the student role, and into the role of a graduate nurse.
This has been a long time coming, but I can truly say that I am feeling more confident and prepared than ever before.
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