Last weekend, one of the nurses I work with became frustrated with a patient, who asked simply, when they could be discharged. As the patient left to go back to their room, the nurse punched the wall, and informed me that I should not become a nurse because it's people "like this" that ruin everything. Instead, the nurse told me I should become a PA and live a happier life.
No.
I am a scholarship recipient, and as is such, I needed to check in with my professors and have them sign off on my mid-term grades.
I met with my math professor on Monday, and in her office, she told me I am earning a "Solid A" and told me how after I handed in my first exam how I had touched her heart when I explained that the method she taught for conversions seriously and truly changed my life.
I in turn told her my story; my struggle with mathematics in general, and how I thought for forever that I was simply too stupid to become a nurse. I told her that I can't believe I am doing this well in school.
She told me that when you find your niche, everything falls into place. She told me I've got to stop doubting, and start believing in myself. Which got me thinking: Why am I so confident that God brought me here, but yet so doubtful He'll bring me through? I'm a walking, talking oxymoron!
She also reminded me that nursing school is not a sprint, but a marathon, and when I lose sight of the goal, imagine the day when I walk across the stage for graduation, and a family member, friend or loved one is there on the other end to pin me, thus marking that I have completed this goal.
I nearly burst into tears.
Eight weeks in, we're getting into the good stuff at school. I've learned how to don sterile gloves and re-bandage a wound while maintaining a sterile field. Next week continues sterile procedures and placement of foley catheters. My skill level is slowly progressing, and it's magnificent. I love this; all of it.
Eight weeks done, seven more weeks to go in this semester.
The exams to come will be more difficult. Our next pharmacology exam is on the different medications that affect/work with the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. At this juncture, it makes almost no sense. Agonist, antagonist, antichlorogenic, alpha receptors, beta receptors....huh?
This is my mission this weekend. As well as study for my impending math exam. My biggest fear right now is that I'll drop the ball on one of these exams, forget everything and fail out of nursing school. See, there we are again. Oxymoron.
Where God guides, God provides. And He definitely guided me here.
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