In lab skills on Tuesday, one of my classmates (and friend) suddenly felt ill. Her peripheral vision faded, a sudden headache came on, she became dizzy and nauseated. She sat down, I kept an eye on her, and the rest of the group and I finished learning how to do a physical assessment.
After lab, I sat next to said classmate. She was pale, and looked awful. I encouraged her to elevate her feet, and then shortly thereafter, she told me she was going to vomit, and vomit she did. Don't worry; I got her a gigantic garbage bin to hurl in.
Our lead instructor told her there was nothing she could do to help, for liabilities sake except activate EMS. I took her to a doctor, instead.
Long story short, it is reasons like this that I am in nursing. Acute onsets of anything fascinate me. Vomiting doesn't phase me. Getting to tend to, and take care of a person in need: That is why I am doing this. That is why I am studying hours a day, that is why I am waking up at the crack of dawn for clinicals, that is why I am doing everything I can to succeed.
We learned how to auscultate heart and breath sounds this week. This probably sounds dumb, but I have never felt cooler than to take my stethoscope, and listen to someone's heart and lungs. placing it in the "right" places. Previously, while I knew anatomically the structure and placement of the heart and lungs, listening to them is a new, wonderful experience.
We had evaluations with our clinical instructor this week. My instructor asked if there was anything she could do to help me, and I stupidly told her this semester isn't challenging me.
I'm sorry, what? It's like, all I do is open mouth and insert foot. Why in the world would I tell my clinical instructor, and not just that, she's also my pharmacology professor that the program isn't challenging me? Because I'm dumb. And when I get nervous, I say all sorts of idiotic things that are really best left in my head, and never, ever spoken.
So imagine yesterday when I sat down for my pharmacology exam, and the first question on the exam is confusing. I thought, "Not challenging, eh?"
However, before any exam, I pray. And it's not a "Dear God, help me pass this test, Amen." It's a prayer of gratitude, for an open mind, and for anxiety not to overwhelm me. See, I used to have insane test anxiety. There was nothing I would have liked better during every exam for the world to end, or if not that, for there to be a sudden emergency, thus resulting in the exam having to be rescheduled, or best case scenario, forgotten about.
Wonderfully though, when I checked my score yesterday, I received a 98%. All praise goes to God. Yes, I know that He didn't give me that A, but He has enabled my mind to become like a sponge, and I am fully comprehending the material, at this time. And it's awesome.
I'm not connecting terribly well with my classmates. In between classes yesterday, I took my seat, and there was a group of women in front of me talking. One was excitedly telling the group about what she was like when she was 11 years old. She relayed the story of the first time she said the "F" word, and then pretty much every other word out of her mouth for the remainder of the story was "F this, F that, F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F"
As I try to drown out her words, I hear other unsavory words spoken all around me. I'm sorry. I don't really curse. The worst you'll get out of me is "Pissed off." I'm not better because of that. My language choices is between me and God.
I just think sometimes, if my classmates would give me the time of day, they might like me. But I'm not in the married group, international student group, smoking group, or older woman group. Again, I have made a few connections with some of my classmates, but I just feel like something is missing.
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