Last Monday, my roommate had spinal surgery. It was an outpatient procedure, but upon her arrival home, she was in very rough shape. Reporting pain as a 9/10, and persistent nausea and vomiting, I placed a call to the on call PA. Once more, the reality of my budding nursing career hit me as I passed along the information, using medical terminology (yay) ie: vomit instead of "throw-up", and as I described to the PA what her vomit looked like (I could tell they were trying to rule out a GI bleed), I realized: I'm slowly transforming into an RN, without even realizing it. The amount of knowledge that I am learning is incredible. I sound half smart these days.
Classes were interesting if not complex this week, and I found myself especially disheartened over the sexually transmitted infection lecture. The way it sounded, everyone and their uncle has 1+ STI, and there's nothing you can do about it, sorry. I found myself feeling quite concerned for my romantic future, as stupid as that sounds. I don't want an STI, even if it can be "treated" with antibiotics. What a sorry way to end my waiting game.
The nurses at my clinical site unfortunately do not like my student group, though I can take a gander as to why. I've got one classmate who is hopelessly lost in the nursing process and doesn't quite seem to understand boundaries. I came upon the nurses talking about our group recently, and they stated they "can't get anything done" because of us. When they noticed I had overheard this bit of information, it was stated "You weren't supposed to hear that" to which I retorted "Well, I sure appreciate everything you're doing for us."
I try. I'm learning, and very much enjoying my clinical experience.
I had an evaluation at my job on Friday, and with fear and trepidation, I entered into my manager's office, sure that I was going to be picked apart--my last job seared that fear into me big time. No matter what I did there, it was always wrong.
This time around, I was met with kindness, and offered a job as an RN upon graduation. What a delight to find that I am loved.
I have discovered that nursing is very humbling. There is something downright human about giving someone shower, and being a part of their vulnerability. I am so grateful for the chance to be a part of the humanity, grateful for the gifts the Lord has given to me.
While it's taking all that I have, there are moments, such as today, when I realize; nursing even nursing school is an experience all unto its own. I'm in it for the long haul.
(Unless I fail.)
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