Semester Two, Week Eleven

During, and after my first OB/Peds exam on Monday, I was positive, positive that I had failed it. I was down in the dumps handing in my failing exam, but knowing that the knowledge wasn't going to magically re-enter my head at any time. I had no idea what it was called when the to-be-born baby settles into the pelvic inlet. I couldn't begin to tell you what the priority nursing diagnosis would be for a kid with RSV. I mean, there were so many things I didn't know, I couldn't even.

So, I waited, having the same pit-in-the-stomach fear that I had when I bombed my clinical calculations test last semester. I couldn't pay attention during lecture, and I was mentally preparing for what it would be like to repeat this semester in the fall. It was just so sad.

I get text message and email notifications when grades are posted (obsessive, I know, but after Med/Surg one, I couldn't take it anymore, checking to see if grades were up every ten seconds). So, there I was in lecture, and we were watching a YouTube video on epidurals, when I got the text "Your grade for OB/Pes Exam 1 has been updated...."

I never checked an exam score so fast. B. A high B. I freaking passed, much to my serious surprise. I don't even know how that was humanely possible. And yes, I keep my phone next to me during lecture. Not to peruse the internet, but to be apprised of serious situations, ie: my score being posted, and me being one step closer to not failing nursing school this round.

So, OB/Peds is just not for me, I've decided. Which is good, should I ever ponder if a career in maternal or child health is for me. It's definitely not. I am struggling in this class, because it is not keeping me engaged, and I find myself spacing out during lecture, frequently. Granted, I've got some personal issues going on, (but really, who doesn't...)

Part of my clinicals this week was assisting in hearing and vision screening, and it is was with some sadness that I realized: I'm old. I remember back in my teenage years, seeing adults such as myself and thinking that they were way up there age. Now, the teachers and aids are in my age group. I don't know; it just made me a bit sad that here I am in my upper twenties and I'm only in school to be a nurse. It made me feel ancient.

One part that really caught my eye was during my time in the health office. A child came in, with a history of diabetes and was clearly hypoglycemic. The health aid's hands were shaking so bad trying to obtain a blood glucose, that I stepped in, and took the blood sugar, which was alarmingly low. I remember that I used to shake quite badly when performing anything medical on patients, but for some reason with the start of nursing school, this has not (yet) happened to me. It's quite nice. Once more, I felt like I accomplished something today. A small intervention, but it's little glimpses of what I want my future to look like that make this seem worth it.

Four more weeks.
:)