Semester Three, Week Nine

Good golly it's been a different kind of week.

For one, my baby dog has made a miraculous recovery. Thank You, Lord.

Two, I had some friends visiting, and wouldn't you know, I've realized; I really wish I had a family of my own. I wonder what it would be like to have someone love me. It gets lonely sometimes. Sometimes? Often.

Three, I finally realized that I was fulfilling the definition of insanity in my own life with a friend...doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. I'm creating boundaries. Or working on them.

Had my first med-surg exam this week. I passed, not even sure how, apart from the grace of God because I hadn't really been able to study at all. Hoping this is an upward change.

Took a pharmacology quiz; 98%. Go figure. I thought I had failed it, based off of the obligatory "What did you get for _____" questions classmates are prone to ask post examination.

I have something sad to admit: I don't think I like my clinicals. The facility is great. The floor is okay. There's just not enough for me to do, and even with assigned two patients, I feel as if I am doing nothing. That is not to say that this clinical rotation is an easy one. My clinical instructor keeps us busy with prep-work, extra assignments such as teaching, charting up the wazoo (I suck at it, and it's frustrating me). It's just that after all is said and done, I'm left staring at the charting system, and wandering the unit, checking on my patients who clearly don't need my help.

A typical day: Pre-conference for one hour. It is here that we take a short exam on NCLEX questions. Then one of us teaches the rest of the group (One topic "nursey nursey" the second "clinical.") Handouts are required, so as not to half-ass the assignment and wing it.

After that comes a discussion of sorts, perhaps an ethical dilemma, problems within the health care system, what happens with medication errors, communication breakdown.

We then head up to our assigned unit where the day shift students are wrapping up their day. I'm envious. They hand off report, and wouldn't you know; the last two weeks I've been there, the assigned patients I've had have gone home, which means the hours of prep work I did was for naught.

Anyway.

Greeting patients, assessments, vitals comes next. Then charting in a system no one taught me how to use.

As the day progresses, we need to document input and output, meal intake, safety checks every two hours, evening vitals, making notes on our clinical paperwork....it's not very interesting. I personally am not challenged (with the exception of the dang charting).

And at long last, close to 11 pm nightly, we have our post conference where we discuss our "high" and "low" of the day and then, at long last, call it a night.

I want to enjoy it, I do. I just feel as if I don't quite fit in.

Maybe next week will be better. (Or the next two months of clinicals. Ugh)