The first week really wasn't that bad. I mean, I only had class for two days. On the second day of lecture, we were bombarded with three hours of immunology, HIV/AIDS, autoimmune disorders, and hypersensitivity reactions. My instructor said that this should all be review, but I'll be darned if it is. Review from five years ago, maybe...
I'm settling in well to another semester, with only a small/moderate amount of stress as I attempt to manage my ADN and BSN courses.
I'm determined to change some of the un-pleasurable aspects of my life, including, but not limited to, distancing myself from complicated friendships, and not being readily available. To attempt defining insanity, by doing the same thing over, and over, and over, and over...
In addition, I will attempt to venture out more, be even more adventurous, say "yes" more often, and be willing to transition into a side of myself that has yet to be uncovered. Sarah, RN. Won't that be the best day ever, to sign RN on documents...
I don't want to fail. Those thoughts came creeping in, again, as I attempted to understand the components of white blood cells.
Clinicals begin next Thursday. Gonna be a doozy. 120+ hours of fun!
I had another clinical calculations quiz this week, and I'll be darned if that is not the most stressful experience for me. My hands shake out of control, and not only that, they become numb and tingly. I'm sure my pupils are dilated, and my respiration rate beyond the 12-20 norm. It's ridiculous, really, and yet, I suspect, will be my nemesis until the very end here.
I still wish I had become a nurse sooner, lived life a little braver, not held back by my own perceived limitations.
Is it the journey, or the destination?
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