Amidst all the fears, tears, heartache, and struggle, I've passed third semester, with an A in advanced concepts of medical-surgical nursing, to boot.
One semester left. I graduate in less than five months.
What have I learned this semester?
- God is present.
- Even when it seems impossible, I can persevere, and triumph.
- I can do more than I ever thought possible.
Medically I've seen or done:
- PICC line insertion
- IV insertion
- IV push meds
- Care of paraplegia/tetraplegia
- End of life care
- Cancer care
- Juggling four patients (assessing priority of care)
- Cath lab (stent placement)
- End stage renal failure care
- Care of the patient with heart failure
- Psychiatric care
This semester wore me out. It brought many disappointments, but also many victories. I wish, so much, that my heart was still in tact. While I'm delighted to be done with this semester, a part of me is burdened by other factors in my life, that I've come to realize, can only hide under the surface, but will pop up, always.
I guess I struggle with why this prayer for nursing school was so easily, quickly answered, why I had such clear direction and understanding of what God was asking of me, leading me to do, when all the other aspects of my life are not as clear, and at best, confusing.
What if all I ever have is a nursing career? What if the years of my life to become a wife and mother never come? Will I be the old maid who contributes all that I have to my job, only to come home to no one? This. This is what is on my mind today, December 15th, as snow lays on the ground, storm overhead, at long last on break, but not at rest.
~
I waited a few hours before posting this, and I took some time to think about life. Okay, so I'm not exactly where I wanted to be at this late stage in the game, but I serve a good, good Father, and He knows what's best for me, even if I can't fathom that this is best. He is perfect in ALL of His ways. So, I'll continue resting in His grip, even when I can't see, and I don't know.
I waited a few hours before posting this, and I took some time to think about life. Okay, so I'm not exactly where I wanted to be at this late stage in the game, but I serve a good, good Father, and He knows what's best for me, even if I can't fathom that this is best. He is perfect in ALL of His ways. So, I'll continue resting in His grip, even when I can't see, and I don't know.
We'll talk again in a month or so.
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