That could basically be my face for life right now. There's been a lot of "down with life" moments of late; For one, my blasted thyroid is hyper again, meaning a) I feel like crap allllll the time b) I'm fatigued and foggy allllll the time and c) it's affecting my cardiac output, so I'm basically slowly
destroying my heart and other organs. It's way outside normal perameters, and I cannot get it to a good level, despite all the pharmaceutical intervention in the world.
I have a classmate who loves to humble-brag about their grades, and it's making me cray-cray.
I passed my exam this week, a B with the offered extra credit, but dang. I know I could have done better, and it aggravates me greatly to know that. (Can I blame my thyroid and diffuse panic/feeling of constant insanity?) So then, again, imagine said classmate humble-bragging about their academic achievements.
On a personal note, I've realized of late that I'd rather be someone's choice rather than an option. Just sayin'.
Clinicals this week were a trial, and I'm now better prepared for the management of PEG tubes. I also had a patient slap my hands and pinch my face out of frustration. That's correct, slap me and pinch my face. I must be the prime example of nursing professionalism, being that I didn't lose it right then and there. The reason for said abuse was due to trying to examine a tele box, to you know, see their heart rate and oxygen levels. Cause I care, as a student nurse, that my patient is still alive and such.
I worked with a soon to be nurse from a different school who, in an eerie way, reminded me of an ex, so I spent my day staring at him (not in a creepy way, but a "why do you remind me of him" way.)
A few weeks ago, I had an opportunity to be a guest speaker at a nursing school welcome to current and future students. The opportunity arose from me and a classmate seeking free food, and suddenly, we were asked to speak, and answer questions. I've seen a lot of changes in myself since I began this adventure, and I earnestly hope that I get to graduate during the prescribed time (this May). I'm so tired, and thanks to my thyroid, no matter how much sleep I get, I never feel fully rested.
On another note, and again, it has to be thyroid related, otherwise, I have a mental condition happening, I don't feel like I'm in reality very much these days. I constantly feel like I'm dreaming, or on the outside, watching my life transpire. I hear and see myself, but there's a rather disturbing "disconnect" that makes me feel like none of this is actually happening. (Yeah, get me a straight jacket...)
There's another exam tomorrow, and it's hard to believe that the academic insanity starts up all over again; I never get a day off! (Well, I did have a day "off" due to a snow day on Tuesday, but I spent the day studying, so that hardly qualifies.)
I am working my butt off, giving 100%, and am leaving the rest to the Lord. I can do no more and no less, but give it to the One who knows me.
I worked with a soon to be nurse from a different school who, in an eerie way, reminded me of an ex, so I spent my day staring at him (not in a creepy way, but a "why do you remind me of him" way.)
A few weeks ago, I had an opportunity to be a guest speaker at a nursing school welcome to current and future students. The opportunity arose from me and a classmate seeking free food, and suddenly, we were asked to speak, and answer questions. I've seen a lot of changes in myself since I began this adventure, and I earnestly hope that I get to graduate during the prescribed time (this May). I'm so tired, and thanks to my thyroid, no matter how much sleep I get, I never feel fully rested.
On another note, and again, it has to be thyroid related, otherwise, I have a mental condition happening, I don't feel like I'm in reality very much these days. I constantly feel like I'm dreaming, or on the outside, watching my life transpire. I hear and see myself, but there's a rather disturbing "disconnect" that makes me feel like none of this is actually happening. (Yeah, get me a straight jacket...)
There's another exam tomorrow, and it's hard to believe that the academic insanity starts up all over again; I never get a day off! (Well, I did have a day "off" due to a snow day on Tuesday, but I spent the day studying, so that hardly qualifies.)
I am working my butt off, giving 100%, and am leaving the rest to the Lord. I can do no more and no less, but give it to the One who knows me.
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| My clinical view |
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